Office Stress Wrangler Gifts

"THIS looks like a job for ... somebody else."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

"Trying to unclutter my life by reducing busyness is taking up all my free time!"

"I hate doing appraisals, it involves thinking about them."

"Wait a minute - I know there's something we've forgotten to worry about."

'Where do I see myself in five years? Well, if I make it through this day...'

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

"A High-Pain Job? Yes, I believe we have that."

"Daddy needs to relax. He spent another long day at work extolling the virtues of his stand up desk."

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'I moved the computer and phone off my desk. You wouldn't understand. It's a Feng Shui thing and it has successfully reduced my job related stress.'

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

Jack felt much better, now that he was working out.

Workaholic Hotline - 'Come on now, you can do it. Just put down those annual reports and slowly back away...'

'Aren't you glad we had this meeting to resolve our conflict?'

'I enjoy sweating the small stuff. It adds to my fitness workout.'

'And this is Ziggy, our stress management consultant...'

'You're vaarking too aard,'

worrying letters

'Things are pretty crazy right now. Let me get back to you.'

Woman is surrounded by yellow notes.

"Most employees struggle with the job's monotony, but Chris has learned he can spend hours feeding off the adrenaline from a reckless commute."

'Not caught you at a bad time,I hope,Maxwell?'

'Parker does his best work under pressure.'

"Oh, stop your frettin'"

"Problems are only as real as you imagine them to be."

'Burnout' (head exploded).

"Your posture is better, but the whole office calls you Professor Bouncy Jerk. F.Y.I."

'How come your hard days at the office are harder than anyone else's hard days at the office.'