Office Space Strategist Gifts

"Hendricks, I just heard someone say that the best things in life AREN'T THINGS! Find out WHAT they are, WHO has them, and make an immediate cash offer for the ENTIRE LOT!"

'Office market' with tightened belt views small 'Square footage' meal with anger

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

Career opportunities

"Uh-Oh..."

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

The rope to success.

"Pardon me, but why is there no ceiling this office?"

'In my rise to the tip I was always aware of a higher power - now I feel I'm ready to take it on.'

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"