Home Office Strategist Gifts

'I haven't quite worked out the logistics of working at home and being able to kiss up to the boss.'

'The trouble with being self-employed is you can't nick office supplies!'

"Right, 1:02 minutes to the corporate conference meeting."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"It has come to my attention that some work-from-home employees aren't maintaining company standards."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"I'm working from home today."

Career opportunities

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

Lumbar support animal

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Uh-Oh..."

Clients who show up early for an appointment are really annoying ??" especially when you work from home.

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"Pardon me, but why is there no ceiling this office?"

The rope to success.