Home Office Strategist Gifts

'I haven't quite worked out the logistics of working at home and being able to kiss up to the boss.'

'The trouble with being self-employed is you can't nick office supplies!'

"Right, 1:02 minutes to the corporate conference meeting."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

"It has come to my attention that some work-from-home employees aren't maintaining company standards."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"I'm working from home today."

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

Career opportunities

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

Lumbar support animal

The Corporate Ladder and the Corporate Elevator.

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Uh-Oh..."

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

Clients who show up early for an appointment are really annoying ??" especially when you work from home.

"There, all neat and tidy!"

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

'I don't think the employees like me.'