Office Strategizer Gifts

I had just gotten used to the rat race, and then they had to go and add a maze.

By camouflaging himself, Ed was able to avoid being a victim of the company's massive layoffs.

"My rise in the company was solely based on convincing management that I was a nerd in high school."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

Career opportunities

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

"Uh-Oh..."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

Inout baskets.

The Corporate Ladder and the Corporate Elevator.

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

The rope to success.

'I don't think the employees like me.'

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"