Office Perfectionist Gifts

'Our company president, Mr. Tink, will be visiting our store this week. I want everything to be perfect. That means everything where it belongs.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

Hanging off every word...

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

'In,' 'Out' and 'Organize.'

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'

"Maybe you do have all the answers but they didn't match any of our questions."