Organizational Perfectionist Gifts

For the seventh straight year, the tentative professor's office remains undecided, anxiously,hopeless, unfurnished.

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

Hanging off every word...

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'I wish you would update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"You additional graphics are totally unnecessary, Phelps."

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."