Office Optimizer Gifts

'Let's try to improve our workstations even more.'

'We would like to see you put a little more worry into your work.'

'Office real estate' lifting weights

'First, the office walls went, then the ceilings and floors and now, well, here we are.'

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"When the dust settles we're all going to be very dusty."

I want to keep this short so get rid of the sleeping bag and the provisions.

"I've just been spiffing up my image a bit."

"There was a lot of tension between his ergonomics and his feng shui."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

Inout baskets.

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

'It's new from British Telecom...a telephone ignoring machine.'

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

Miss Pike, send a memo to all members of staff.....Economies must be made.'

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

"I appreciate your contribution to our drawdown of inventory, but isn't your office getting cramped?"

"We need a better piling system."

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

'Here, here and here the copier was jammed...'

"I finally got myself organized and unsubscribed from all those-e-mails."

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'Beautiful Balloon Company' In Trays 'Up' 'Up' 'Away'

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions