Productivity Optimizer Gifts

"When I have too much caffeine at work I become nervous, agitated and experience an elevated heart rate. It's at this point that I achieve maximum productivity."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

In basket-case.

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

Out and In.

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Work Parfait

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Overworked in the office

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

Multi-tasking.

What My Day Feels Like

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

Time Is Money

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

Back to work...

"It's OK to close tabs. Just click on it. Once you realize that you don't need that many open, it'll get easier. You can do this!"