Office Lover Gifts

'We're looking for people who like to take work home.'

Plumbing Company Executive

"I'm being kept separate from the general inmate population."

The Workaholics Building

'This has been a test. Had this been an actual corporate takeover...'

I'd rather be at the office.

"My one regret is that I didn't spend more quality time with my office."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

'What's wrong now?'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Does your mother know you keep a messy office?'

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

Lemonade Inc.

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

'You can drop all the hints you like, Jones. We're not buying you a computer.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

'I give this one about three months...'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'