Office Environment Critic Pillows

Office Cubicle Pallets

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"Whereas we used to display losses in shocking and offensive red, we now display them in warm and comforting toasted almond."

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

"On this team we take off our jackets,but we don't loosen our ties."

"Damn it,Frank,if I can't bully my staff, who can I bully?"

'We're very tight on space right now but we'll have you in an office as soon as we can. Meanwhile...'

'...Couldn't you just get pictures for your desk?'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

The suggestion box.

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

"It's not downsizing—it's just that we have 976 employees who have chosen to spend more time with their families."

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

Who's In Charge Here?

'Our company hasn't changed much over the years. Most ideas still come from the top.'

"Here we use the email term 'out of the office', not 'away lazing on a Spanish beach, without a care in the world.'"

Man at Fire Escape sees door with 'Hot Button Issues Escape',

'I feel a leader should be approachable.'

Suggestion box, one for suggestions and one for 'clean' suggestions.

Employer of the month...and every month.

'Management is very concerned about 'work life' balance, particularly where back room staff are concerned...We think you give too much, you need to get your lives back.'

A worker has 3 trays, and in tray, an out tray and a can we talk about it in the morning? tray

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

"Well the good news is that we came top in at least one category of the latest diversity tables..."

Bad Office Planning

Desk bins: Pretend it's not here, Hope it goes away, Delegate it.

Not a Work Place, a Wow Place.

"But first let's all congratulate Ted on his return to work."

"It's just the boss building consensus."

'We're encouraged to be individuals here - look, there's a menu of three personality types to choose from.'

"We're trying to create a caring, supportive environment. For money though, not people."