Office Drama Observer Gifts

"Letting someone go is never easy, Peters."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Terry had a computer bug.

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

"It's a wonderful partner's desk-but we think they didn't get along."

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

'See Dick sleep on job. See Dick get fired.'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

'Put simply, we need our website to tell consumers all about our company without really telling them anything about our company,'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"I think deep down he's really pleased the union has a female head for the first time..."

"Bentley, I don't care if you are my heir apparent. Stop peeking in here fifty times a day!"

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

In case of panic, push button.

"You're not the 'Yes Man' you used to be, Smilby."

"It's the never-ending struggle between the State Department and the Department of Defense."

Jenkins! Why is it everything in this office is voice-activated except you?

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

"...type yourself a letter of apology for what I did at the office party last night."

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

'You cal it loyalty, we call it Stockholm Syndrome!'