Office Cupid Pillows

Pete was too shy to tell Jenny how he really felt about her instead he just sent flowers over the internet.

Valentine's Day.

"It's a collection for Shirley. I want to take her to lunch."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

Lumbar support animal

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

'Would you all please congatulate...'

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

'I didn't come in to hear that I'm burning the candle at both ends. I came for more wax.'

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Stop saying 'You're the boss' I KNOW I'm the boss!

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

InIn by-products.

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"

'I said I wanted to address the manager shortage -- not a short manager!'

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

Valentine Vaccines

White flag being waved around bosses door.

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

Workload management.