Office Crush Revelation Gifts

Company Ink.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

Do not think outside the box!

"For God's sake, just split the last donut!"

"You would be perfect if you weren't you!"

'I'm a fat cat in a dog-eat-dog world.'

"It drives me mad when people act as though we had nothing to do except write moronic memorandum..."

'Sorry, you failed the aptitude test.' -'Thankfully I own the company.'

'The company was quite generous. They gave me a whole day off for the funeral.'

'Not my short list, O'Neil! You're on my other list!

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

My husband doesn´t understand you.

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

"The holidays are finished George, get over it!"

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

'And I see that Derek continues to ignore our company's dress code...'

Elevator/Open Range

"The defibrillators are used when someone is either having a heart attack or trying to leave early."

"If I could quit tomorrow, I'd be gone yesterday."

"Yeah? Well, tell him that in this company Gandhi-like resistance wouldn't have worked for Gandhi, either."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"We're streamlining efficiency by cutting the staff who we employed to improve efficiency."

'We've got trouble, Henderson - Your people got with my people and decided they didn't need us.'

"I pride myself on being able to walk that fine line between misdemeanor and felony."

I stamped out smiley faces in your handwritten memos, and by George, I'll do the same with emoticons in your emails!

"So who else is gonna be there?"

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."