Office Rivalry Revelers Gifts

"For God's sake, just split the last donut!"

21st century water cooler conversations.

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

"I need to catch you after the meeting."

"You would be perfect if you weren't you!"

'I'm a fat cat in a dog-eat-dog world.'

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

'Not my short list, O'Neil! You're on my other list!

My husband doesn´t understand you.

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

Company Ink.

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

"I know this is just my humble opinion, but it's backed by the most comprehensive rumor, gossip and speculation this office can provide!"

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Botox.'

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

'Forget about me - what can you tell me about the new CEO coming on board?'

"So who else is gonna be there?"

"The defibrillators are used when someone is either having a heart attack or trying to leave early."

'I hate snowboarders!'

A big announcement is coming at work.

"Of course, I'm not suggesting that you should also bail."

At Gossips Anonymous...

"You'll fit right in. You have a great sense of rumor."

Cat taunts dog at intersection.

"I hope your day is going bad."

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."