Office Companion Gifts

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

'What's wrong now?'

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

"I heard they mate for life."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Damn! - I slept right through my afternoon nap today. . ."

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

'Okay, lifestyles of the rich and famouse, start that motor and get us into some shade.'

Fishermen

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

Reading the sports pages.

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

"This is the best day ever!" "This is the worst day ever!"

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

'Ever since I started reading the newswpaper online, he's been bringing my computer to me.'

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

Two Players both holding the same cue.

"We've come so far together...wouldn't it be great if they had frequent achiever miles?"

"Gigot de sept heures."

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

"Did you read this report? The average member of staff takes 19 minutes for lunch!"

Bureau of the Damned

Man, I could destroy a chocolate donut with sprinkles right now

'But before we move on, allow me to belabor the point even further...'