Office Comics Gifts

'You can take down your little sign, Marlene, we're switching over to computers on Monday.'

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"Good boy, what a good boy. You're hired."

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Cog-In-The-Wheel

"I don't make the rules around here. I just enshrine them."

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"You've been replaced by a new AI program, but we can keep you on until it's finished it's vacation."

"In order to raise some working capital, the company has sold your souls to the devil"

In and Out Trays

"I've had a tip off that someone on the team has been using email."

Frank was famous for his anti-inflammatory rhetoric.

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

"I started in the Lab and worked my way up."

"Of course I'm proud to work here... Why do you ask?

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

Do you think I have a problem delegating?

"In keeping with my promise to spread the wealth, I'm giving you all a bigger piece of the pie."

"No, son, there's no severance package."

"Corporate Diversity would like you to get a sex change."

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

'You impressed one of our new managers in Calcutta so much, he's arranged for you to marry his daughter.'

'We need more boots on the ground.'

"Welcome to the team. Now put on your Groupthink Glasses!"

'We're hoping to get enough for the boss to take early retirement.'

'Your call would have been important to us before we went out of business.'

'This came in from somewhere. Could you send it somewhere else?'