Office Comic Observer Gifts

Our Founder portrait looking over boss's shoulder.

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"Good boy, what a good boy. You're hired."

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

Cog-In-The-Wheel

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'See Dick sleep on job. See Dick get fired.'

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"You've been replaced by a new AI program, but we can keep you on until it's finished it's vacation."

"In order to raise some working capital, the company has sold your souls to the devil"

In and Out Trays

"I've had a tip off that someone on the team has been using email."

Frank was famous for his anti-inflammatory rhetoric.

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

'You can take down your little sign, Marlene, we're switching over to computers on Monday.'

'Good news is that after two weeks buried in this desert, nobody will call us 'Paleface' anymore!'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

'You impressed one of our new managers in Calcutta so much, he's arranged for you to marry his daughter.'

'Because Elvis is FULL of philosophical insights.'

'We need to hire someone who knows how to develop consumer-product relationships. Do you know any drug pushers?'

"Welcome to the team. Now put on your Groupthink Glasses!"

Security Alert in the Paperless Office. . . .

'Your call would have been important to us before we went out of business.'

'I revel in your success whenever it leads to my success.'

"But I was told this was included in my severance package."

"It's not what you do, it's what people see that counts"

'We won't exactly be firing you, Brubaker. However we are switching to an all-volunteer work force.'

"I'm aware you called to say you'd be late, but that was nine months ago!"

'Sims, thought it was the data, but it's actually you that's flawed.'

Office block moving to the suburbs.