Office Clansman Gifts

'It's easy to slag off other people's work, much harder to do better yourself...so Daddy's made a career out of slagging off other people's work.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

In basket-case.

'That's our mission statement.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"