Office Strongman Gifts

"Satisfied, Hamilton?"

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

In basket-case.

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'I hate Mondays.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'Dog eat dog.'

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'Don't you try those cheap scare tactics with me, Rendleman!'

Why am I running?

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

Working 9 to 5.

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."

'At least I don't have his life.'

Subordinate Employee

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

"It's somehow comforting to witness a revival of the classics in motivational technique."

Unrealistic expectations tend to lead to disappointment. . .

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."