Offering Aficionado Gifts

"One god... one church... one collection."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Wall Street Couch

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

'I've never seen a stock crash so hard.'

Roads with a view.

"Outré or simply bad?"

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

"You call this ice?"

'You're no Pollock.'

'This is the painting he was about to start when he shot himself.'

'Right, moving on to the housekeeping...'

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

"Our first order of business will be the new speed bump in the parking lot."

Your Ad Here.

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

"Is this 'pollocks'."

"It's a cautionary tale about why we shouldn't cut arts funding in schools."

"Is that all you can say - 'It's not messy'?"

'If that's Dorothy, we're not here.'

"Up a hundred and sixteen points! If only we'd had the foresight to invest ten minutes ago."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

"I'm so sorry, there is nothing I can do for him anymore...he must have been offline for at least 10 hours..."

"I suffer for my art..."

Millais - Cubist Period

'And now for some fresh and existing commercials before we get back to our dull, uninteresting, and hum-drum story.'

Jimmy Mussolini With "Leon""Precious I cannot be. One more allusion to Gilgamesh and I'll trash out. I make mistakes, just like you, every day. This may be one of them. I'll take the money and walk."