Order Aficionado Gifts

'I once had a dashboard covered with junk like that and the window broke from the stress.'

Grounds keeper waiting with a brush for the last leaf to fall from a tree

Come back, sir! "Leave room for cream" was a question, not directions.

I recently read "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up". It's changed my life, minion. Pay attention. May involve me. The reason a lot of us never have a truly clean house is, we settle. Settlers. Pilgrims. Turkey. Our clothes, for instance. Our closets are full of stuff we're just ok with. What we should do is take everything out, lay it all on the bed, go through it ... and anything we have to think about keeping, we toss. Floss. The only things you should keep in your closet are the ones that

He believes an apiary should be run with strict discipline. So it behooves the beehive to behave!

Information Manager

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

Driverless cars rage.

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."