Offal Aficionado Gifts

'The bad news is we have to amputate your liver - the good news is it'll be great with onions!'

Aunt Bess's Entrail Pie, 'it's Offally Good.'

'Hey! You let Paul in first! What am I - chopped liver?!...'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

hard-boiled egg...

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Please Drove Carefully.

Country Bumpkin.

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'Can he come out and play?'

Marley had a little lamb

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water

COWMIKAZES

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

A Palindrome Cow.

'This is a real barnburner.'

I've located your problem, luv!

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

"A little lamb please."

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

"I'd like to be the cream in your coffee."

"Babies come from WHERE?!"

"Why have you doubled the price of oatmeal?"

Dear Dairy

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'