Off-the-grid Traveller Gifts

"I want to travel somewhere REMOTE, somewhere unspoiled and untrammeled by hoards of rampaging tourists...but with good wi-fi!"

"I'd like to book 10 days going anywhere they've never heard of Brexit."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Hiking sign - Stop, pause, play, skip forward, skip back

Solar Panel

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"He says he's not running away. . . he's just going off the grid."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

It is a little odd, I have come to a place completely off the grid to recharge my batteries.

Inuit post arriving by parachute.

"Looks like they're headed off the grid!"

"I love the way it blurs the boundary between inside and out."

"Sorry, Kevin, but having the wi-fi down for a couple of hour is not 'living off the grid'."

Got Facebook and Twitter, but I forgot to post about being off-the-grid to Instagram.

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

"Grandpa, what was it like living off the grid for most of your life?"

"Since we're off the grid, Madge does the cooking over a bonfire."

'Ah, Baker! Still the company's lone voice in the wilderness, I see!'

It's my manifesto on living "off the grid," mainly compiled from my blog, tweets and Facebook posts.

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cellphones or video games."

The Ungooglable Man

"I'm going off the grid with the option of grid-binging whenever I want."

'If I don't catch something soon I'm going home!'

A*se End of Nowhere POPULATION: YOU

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cell phones, or video games."

"I'm going somewhere without cell service because I'm incapable of turning my phone off myself."

"I'm off the grid."

Desert Island Wind Farm

Living off the griddle

"The middle of nowhere was too dead for us, so we moved her to the outskirts of nowhere where there's a lot more going on!"

A man sits alone on a desert island being monitored by a CCTV camera

It's Rudy's annual treecation – A low-cost vacation spent sitting under his tree. This year, a twist: His gadgets have lost battery life and his portable generator is out … Don't panic. Maybe this is a battery tree. Just leaves. Or maybe there's an outlet. Bark. What kind of tree is this?! Proudly powered by sun and roots.

Sunrise

"We're now off the grid. Metahorically, we've been off for decades."