Odds Beater Pillows

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

'Get an afterlife!'

Post Game Day Betting.

"I'll give you 3 to 1 nobody else turns up."

'You've become unbearable since you started working in that betting shop!'

"And finally for the record, the clerk of the court has odds of 6-4 guilty, 2-1 not guilty..."

An affair to remember.

Handicap Parking Only - Ticket Odds 4 to 1.

-Yipee! He's well out in front! -You do realize they're only going down to the start!

'There's a horse in the next race called 'Taxman' - he MUST win!'

WIZARD OF ODDS...gambling, lottery consultant.

"I like the look of this steamer in the 2.30."

"He's giving 3-1 Magic Spider in the 230."

'You say that one day you win and the next day you lose? Why don't you bet on alternate days?'

I'm sorry, the pension fund was beaten by two lengths!

Gambler's Anonymous - "What are the odds on my recovery?"

'His horse came in at 100 to 1 - last!'

Probability: 10,000-1, 150-1, 6-1, 2-5, 1-20, 50-1, 10,000-1.

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

-How about a fiver on that number three? -Ok, but to be safe,it better be each-way!

I like the look of that 'Trojan Boy'.

"10/1 says I lose the next bet."

'The bad news is that your monthly payment will be $24,089.23. The good news is that it will never increase.'

'It's a fight between me and the world,' - 'I'll have a twenty on the world,'

'We may have done better if the jockey had carried the horse round!'

Hare and the tortoise race odds.

Risk assessment offered to punters.

"Obviously, They Had Too Many Refrigerator Magnets."