Playing The Odds Pillows

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

'I told you I'd deal with your transfer request, Jenkins. Cut the deck!'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

Post Game Day Betting.

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

'This may be an old computer, but it won the football office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

'Will you make the final table?'

'You've become unbearable since you started working in that betting shop!'

"And finally for the record, the clerk of the court has odds of 6-4 guilty, 2-1 not guilty..."

Test Today. I didn't pass the test but I did beat the point spread.

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

"In the ring, kid. We want you to take a fall in the ring."

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

'This week he took me skateboarding. I think my inner child's trying to kill me.'

I want you to give this project the same energy and enthusiasm you give the pools syndicate and the office lottery.

"I'm going to the house what England winning the World Cup, luckily the house doesn't belong to me."

Fantasy Football Betting Pool

"Ask your doctor if you're strong enough to day trade options."

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

'He's a plumber, yet you bet him he couldn't break 100, using a plunger as his putter?'

-"It would have been a photo finish..." -"Yes, but by the time our horse got there it was too dark for a photo!"

Probability: 10,000-1, 150-1, 6-1, 2-5, 1-20, 50-1, 10,000-1.

'I used to be really depressed about losing the superlotto, but then I found this support group, and I realized I'm not the only person who hasn't won.'

"I warned you not to play snooker with Monty."

A child pulls the lever of a machine that is combination of both a slot machine and a gumball machine.

'Well, that's 3 of my 7-a-day.'

-How about a fiver on that number three? -Ok, but to be safe,it better be each-way!

Hare and the tortoise race odds.

"Why are you using your phone during the match?"