Odds Challenger Pillows

Casino. Ask about our frequent take-a-flyer program.

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

The Mainstream

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

Choice hellhole

Empty Calories Vending Machine.

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

"Cheer up, might never happen!"

A man without a chicken on his head!

Please seat to be weighted.

"Actually, there is such a thing as a stupid question, and you've just asked it."

Orienteering 101

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

'You've become unbearable since you started working in that betting shop!'

"And finally for the record, the clerk of the court has odds of 6-4 guilty, 2-1 not guilty..."

I don't like the looks of this next level.

"Grandma, this is now how some schools say obey the rules."

"Pudits tell me what to think. TV tells me what to watch. Ads tell me what to buy. You really care about my opinion?"

Handicap Parking Only - Ticket Odds 4 to 1.

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"

Up, down, whatever (elevator with apathy)

"He's giving 3-1 Magic Spider in the 230."

I'm sorry, the pension fund was beaten by two lengths!

No, I wouldn't call this a "lucky break"!

"Shame on you!. . . For disagreeing with us!"

'You say that one day you win and the next day you lose? Why don't you bet on alternate days?'

HOw the Cat WOund Up With Nine Lives.

I'm going to argue that free will should be considered a form of entrapment.

Pessimism Quiz.

'It's a fight between me and the world,' - 'I'll have a twenty on the world,'

Hare and the tortoise race odds.

'It's all in how you look at it -- try thinking of yourself as the world's tallest short guy.'