Ocean Enthusiast Gifts

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"It's all yours."

'Now remember, you have enough water for half an hour, then you'll have to come down.'

Octopus Lady

"You guys would not believe the crazy shit down there!"

'To be honest, I'm not sure if a HAZARD ASSESSMENT would have seen this one coming!'

'Gee, talk about body language!'

Shark picking lock to diver's cage.

I'm sure if I moved to a fresh water environment, my hypertension would abate.

Shark-bite.

Every year it's the same thing. I resolve to lose a ton and you say you're going to control your anger.

'And now, as a token of my appreciation for the vital role your species plays in the food chain, I'm going to eat you!'

"What a vacation - we swam with dolphins!"

"We're from Australia and we're here to help with your global warming problem."

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

"Thanks again, kid!"

'If you can read this we'd like to know.'

'What makes you think I'm not at my desk?'

'But, Mom, what do the fish do for thirty minutes after they eat?'

'Oh... and this one sounds like a huge wave!'

Workaholic struggles to relax at the beach.

Do the waves make that noise all night?

Idiot - I'm full of mercury.

Courtesy Wave

"Oh, ....you know, ....sittin 'on the dock of the bay, ....wastin' time."

'Your cholesterol is high. Lay off the sea food.'

Shark to fish about school of fish: 'School of choice.'

'Well yes, all male seahorses are stay-at-home dads: We love it!'

'That shows how high the water was. The same thing happens in our bathtub.'

Affectionate whale

A hammerhead shark gets an eye test.

"I've been using white strips."

'I wasn't drowning, I was waving!'

'I think he's recognized us: I told you we should have left a tip last time...'

'So what's the coral of the story?'