Ocean Aficionado Gifts

"I'm not beached. I just don't swim on Saturdays."

'And then he yells MAN EATER and I say, MAN EATER?! MOI?!!'

For the grey nomad, life on the road had its challenges.

"Don't bother Darling, it's yet another loan shark!"

It was an expensive treatment, but it feels so good to be barnacle-free...

Common Dolphin

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

"Won't they suffocate by standing still for so long?"

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Some say Jacques Cousteau's relationship with the ocean was unhealthy.

'The garnish was really good, but these biscuits are rather tasteless...'

'The trick to avoiding shark attacks is to NOT look like a seal...'

Society of Mollusc Breeders.

"Hold it up to your ear and you can hear an oil slick."

Scuba diver in a fishmongers

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

"I've been at loose ends lately."

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"These kids and their shellfies..."

"How long have you had this morbid fear of drowning?"

"I'm claustrophobic!"

"There's something fishy about that third base umpire."

"Why did the lobster blush?. . ."

"Are there sharks in the water?"

"Reverse!!"

"I accidentally ate a politician once, and had gas for two weeks."

One way to get the beach for yourself... (man with pretend shark fin on his head).

"It's a very restrictive diet. I can only eat people named 'Atkins'."

"Bycatch."

"What? Do I have something stuck between my teeth?"

Coconut smoothies stand on desert island.

"I'm reading this article about self-care. Any idea what 'hydration' is?"

"All you can eat sushi."

The Starfish's natural enemy - the Crazy-Stalker Fish.