Coastal Aficionado Gifts

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

Beach Barbecue

When laundry ruled the waves.

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

These species are only living off the coast of Southern California!

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

Artifishial Intelligence

"Privates Beach"

"We’re a lending aquarium."

Dolphin friendly tuna

Honey remember what I said about feeding the birds.

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

Try me/try me/try me...

Turtle Hat

Fish with a human in a bowl.

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

Dolphins playing on a seesaw.

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

"I need a holiday that guarantees perfect weather, good beaches and romance!"

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'If that's a proposal, I accept!'

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

"I think it loves us."

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"We first met on the beach. He was a lifeguard and I was a poor swimmer."

"Teacher! What happens if we don't turn in our homework on time?"