Occult Curious Gifts

"How do you like our Wednesday-night get-togethers?"

'The Dyslexic Demonologist'

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

Paranormal A-Z...

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

Hair Crop Circle

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

Computer: 'There are some things it is better not to know.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"Then what happened?"

The government is lying to us about life on the moon phobia.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

"Must we have ten minutes blasphemy every night?"

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

Alice's interest in photography grew, during her stay in Wonderland.

'All I wanted to know is if that word was naughty.'

Plasma Ball

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

Ill next Thursday

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Madame Borigard: Reader of the Occult - Derivatives & Credit Default Swaps Explained

Amateur Palmist

"So, is this a date with destiny?"

Fortunes. Tarot. Palms. You punched the fortune teller just because he was smiling? I always wanted to strike a happy medium.

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."