Occasional Tippler Pillows

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

"Here's Bill now. I'm not sure where he's been, but I'm guessing it was the Sour Beer Festival."

'This room is a tad small but cozy.'

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

'This one's called 'Towel stealer'. It's a guest beer.'

Visitor to a Landmark Tavern

Tip responsibly

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

'Fancy a spot of work after drinks?'

Joe's Bar: Do your discretionary spending here!

'Time's up, chuckles.'

'There's a machine now that tells you when to stop drinking. It's called a cash point machine.'

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

'Thinker's drinker.'

Ballet Beggar.

5-6 pm: Unhappy hour - mourn the loss of jobs to apps, bots, drones.

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

'So, does your wrist-wearable wine analyzer have anything so say about that Burgundy, like how to get it out of silk?'

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

"I prefer the cheap stuff."

Traditional ale,Traditional Drunk

'My Beer Expert necklace reports that this IPA is perfect, so why do I need to taste it?'

Harry, I've just had a tip!

"You know this is to solve your problems."

"Am I the only guy at the table who goes back to when this stuff was two hundred and fifty dollars a bottle?"

'It's sad to see a good dog go bad.'