Jolly Tippler Pillows

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

"Yes we have dollar drafts, no you can't use your own glass."

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

"Here's Bill now. I'm not sure where he's been, but I'm guessing it was the Sour Beer Festival."

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

Visitor to a Landmark Tavern

'This one's called 'Towel stealer'. It's a guest beer.'

Tip responsibly

'An environmentalist group today petitioned Congress to ban 'Tiptoe Through the Tulips.''

'Invented a new cocktail.' '

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

'Fancy a spot of work after drinks?'

5-6 pm: Unhappy hour - mourn the loss of jobs to apps, bots, drones.

"I prefer the cheap stuff."

Christmas Spirit

"I've been asked to talk to you boys about 'rapid building entry' techniques

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

Joe's Bar: Do your discretionary spending here!

'So, does your wrist-wearable wine analyzer have anything so say about that Burgundy, like how to get it out of silk?'

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

Ballet Beggar.

'Time's up, chuckles.'

'Thinker's drinker.'

'There's a machine now that tells you when to stop drinking. It's called a cash point machine.'

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

'I don't care if you do put me on the naughty list, your bag needs to go through x-ray.'

'What? You mean I ran all the way here and got all that exercise for nothing?'

Traditional ale,Traditional Drunk

"Am I the only guy at the table who goes back to when this stuff was two hundred and fifty dollars a bottle?"

"You know this is to solve your problems."

'My Beer Expert necklace reports that this IPA is perfect, so why do I need to taste it?'