Occasional Jet-setters Gifts

'It's $15 to check a bag and $25 if you want it to arrive at your destination.'

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

'It has all the comfort of a regular jet, but it's invisible to shareholders.'

"Hell: The Airport"

Dog on a plane.

Business-Class.

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

'Oh, the amenity!'

"Have you decided where to travel?"

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

Travel Agent - Building not finished

"New York are at Lunch, Munich are at Coffee and Tokyo are at Lunch."

"Any chance of an upgrade?"

Qantas London Sydney

Plane crash on football pitch.

Excess Baggage

"Hi, scheduling? I might be a little late. I'm stuck in traffic."

Flight nap

'Man, this living out of a suitcase is getting old!'

'I'm tired of being a jet-setter. I want to settle down, raise kids, run my own airline...'

Excess Baggage: Anyone who think business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

"So where are you off to today Wanda?" "......ummmmm......."

"This is your captain. Welcome to Flight 112, non-stop service from Detroit to Tampa. For your enjoyment I made us a mix tape, which will begin shortly."

'Can you recommend someplace where nothing is expected of us? Wilbur can't stand pleasure of any sort.'

'Why isn't there zero tolerance to drugs and alcohol?'

'Want to buzz the airport?'

"Cynthia! Bridle your enthusiasm."

Fiscal Responsibility

Ask Sadie. If you were to win $100 million in the Mega Lottery, do you think the money would change you? How would you spend it? - Billy, a long-time fan. *Actual reader letter. First, I'd do my part to cure world hunger, then give to needy children, then help pay downs some of the national debt, then … Wait, lemme reorder a bit. First I'd buy the Yankees, then world hunger, then needy children. No first the Yankees, then a private jet, then gum, then the needy whatchamacallits. Children. Turn

"Our gold-plus members get live-streaming of economy class so you can see how cramped and irritable they are."

"Why yes, it is my last flight. How'd you guess?"

"Which way to departures?"

"Whatever you hit Captain it wasn't a bird. The only thing I can see in here is lot s of wrapping paper, broken toys and shattered antlers."