Obesity Battler Pillows

"People worry about what they're giving their children."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

Run, Mike, Run!

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

"You research diets, then order junk food online. Your computer isn't broken, it's just confused."

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

'Dinosaurs might have survived if they'd gone to health clubs.'

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

"You forgot my Diet Cola."

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

The four major food groups.

'It's the half-empty bag of cookies from the back of the pantry. Should I tell them you'll call back?'

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

'Yes, that's all - isn't 1500 calories enough?'

'Enforcing the publish or perish rule, Dean McWit?'

'I reduce my stress with comfort food. Now none of my clothes are comfortable.'

Healthy Eating Fast

Self Service, Self Denial

'What makes you so sure this is good for my health?'