Beauty Battler Pillows

Male Green Beret applying face camouflage - female Green Beret applying lipstick.

Bad fake tan day.

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'

Don't hate me becasue I'm beautiful.

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

Painter's Duel.

fish in a bottle...

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'My boyfriend is meeting me when I hit the ground.'

Butterfly Woman

"So what's your success rate?"

Veni, Vidi, Vici, Mani, Pedi.

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

'Plastic Surgery for Beginners'

"Girlfriend, you're not fat. You're just retaining a little water."

"For all the years I've worked here you've had it in for me...so will you get off my case."

'Someone ought to tell Rapunzel about a good dandruff shampoo.'

Directions for walker across several hills.

'So we meet again on the fields of battle.'

"Bad Hair Life"

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"Of course I love your long hair Rapunzel. But maybe you could shave your legs just once in a while?"

"What? It's been ten years. . . She's had six kids for goodness sake. She can't still be the fairest of them all!"

Acceptance Shampoo: Your Hair Is Just Like That.

How to have long, luscious hair in two easy steps 1) Have short, luscious hair. 2) Don't cut it.

'We're gonna make a fortune using cactus as hair replacement for porcupines.'

"Clyde here has volunteered to try the hair growth formula in time for his date tonight."