Beauty Buster Pillows

Haircut Costs for Men and Women

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Meanwhile in Hollywood

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

The Cat Spa

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

Do you think I'm sixty?

Sheep In Curlers

"Don't worry about your hair, dear, I can fix it in post-production."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

"Your mascara is running."

Two men in barber shop

'Will the surgery leave a scar?'

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

Don't hate me becasue I'm beautiful.

'Of course I'll love you when you 'go grey'... Why shouldn't I... I've loved you through six other shades!'

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

Level up your game with a MANicure.

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'