Beauty Conqueror Pillows

Veni, Vidi, Vici, Mani, Pedi.

Bad fake tan day.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"Outré or simply bad?"

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

Don't hate me becasue I'm beautiful.

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

"So what's your success rate?"

'My boyfriend is meeting me when I hit the ground.'

"This will make the man in your life wonder where you went."

Butterfly Woman

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

'Someone ought to tell Rapunzel about a good dandruff shampoo.'

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

'It's the least I can do. I don't have enough money to get cloned.'

Obstetrics, Gynecology and Waxing.

"Girlfriend, you're not fat. You're just retaining a little water."

Idealized portrait of a rooster.

Virtual Super-Model.

The Conquest

"Of course I love your long hair Rapunzel. But maybe you could shave your legs just once in a while?"

"Bad Hair Life"

"What? It's been ten years. . . She's had six kids for goodness sake. She can't still be the fairest of them all!"

"This is more than a look. This is a context."