Beauty Conqueror Gifts

Veni, Vidi, Vici, Mani, Pedi.

Bad fake tan day.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"Outré or simply bad?"

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

Don't hate me becasue I'm beautiful.

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

"So what's your success rate?"

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

Butterfly Woman

'My boyfriend is meeting me when I hit the ground.'

"This will make the man in your life wonder where you went."

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

'It's the least I can do. I don't have enough money to get cloned.'

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

"Girlfriend, you're not fat. You're just retaining a little water."

Obstetrics, Gynecology and Waxing.

Jo's Beauty Salon. On vacation. Closed for Summer. That's when things got ugly.

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

'Someone ought to tell Rapunzel about a good dandruff shampoo.'

Idealized portrait of a rooster.

Virtual Super-Model.

The Conquest

"Bad Hair Life"

Are you wearing your hair down for good? Not sure. I'm weighing the response. What a haystack. So unfortunate. It's a split decision.

"This is more than a look. This is a context."

"Of course I love your long hair Rapunzel. But maybe you could shave your legs just once in a while?"

'Why don't you look like Jennifer Aniston, you're the same age.'