Beauty Chaser Pillows

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"When did men become women?"

'It's the least I can do. I don't have enough money to get cloned.'

'She's not been the same since she had her nose job.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Woman tries to catch a footballer.

"Outré or simply bad?"

Letter writing lady.

'Get me public relations!'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"Botox."

"I tried running in gyms, but nothing gets me motivated like running towards a love interest...."

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

Hollywood or bust!

Tango

She. 'Isn't it a pretty view?' Susceptible Youth. 'Awfully pretty, by Jove!'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

As Seen On TV

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

Analysis of Beauty - Plate I.