Glamour Chaser Pillows

'Sorry - My diary's full this week.' (Botox, liposuction, botox, implants, botox)

Beauty Salon - "I'm just sorry we couldn't do more for you."

The word gets out trains are using F1 technology to improve reliability.

Taking Cole to Newcastle

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

Hooray for Bollywood!

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

Woman tries to catch a footballer.

'I hate to ski. But I look so cute in the outfits!'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Letter writing lady.

'Get me public relations!'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

Astronaut

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Life in the fastest lane.

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

Tango