Glamour Seekers Pillows

'Well if you can't make me look like Cameron Diaz, just re-apply my lipstick and touch-up my mascara thanks.'

'Just remember that there is a fine line between show dog and show off.'

I always think of old age as ten years older than I am.

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

Sitting in a tree

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

Ladies

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Baker Romance

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

Speed Dating.

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

Hooray for Bollywood!

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'I hate to ski. But I look so cute in the outfits!'

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

'Your future looks charming.'

The Wishing Well

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

THE LANGUAGE OF PROM DRESSES

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Why so grim, handsome?"