Glamour Chaser Gifts

'Sorry - My diary's full this week.' (Botox, liposuction, botox, implants, botox)

Beauty Salon - "I'm just sorry we couldn't do more for you."

The word gets out trains are using F1 technology to improve reliability.

Taking Cole to Newcastle

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

ZOOM 'n' GLOOM.

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

Hooray for Bollywood!

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

'I hate to ski. But I look so cute in the outfits!'

Letter writing lady.

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

Woman tries to catch a footballer.

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'Get me public relations!'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

Tango

Hollywood or bust!

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

Astronaut

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"