Oatmeal Debater Gifts

'You think I don't like oatmeal predicated on the fact that I haven't had it in forty-seven years but there is no substantial reason based solely on breakfast choices I might have made in front of or to you for you to make that assumption.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"You owe me five bucks."

Dialogue

Difference of Opinion

"Now that's a win."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

Oz Debating Society. You can't refute everything I say just by call it a "straw man" argument.

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

Mayo-A-Mayo

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

The Shakespeares Dine Out.

'I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but I still say that Shemp was the greatest of them all.'

"Why have you doubled the price of oatmeal?"

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

Like Minded

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

Debating Society. I can accept that money is speech as long as we can agree that some spending is like yelling fire in a theater.

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'