Oatmeal Debater Gifts

'You think I don't like oatmeal predicated on the fact that I haven't had it in forty-seven years but there is no substantial reason based solely on breakfast choices I might have made in front of or to you for you to make that assumption.'

"You owe me five bucks."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Dialogue

Difference of Opinion

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"Now that's a win."

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

Mayo-A-Mayo

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

Like Minded

"Why have you doubled the price of oatmeal?"

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'

Global warming debate.