Dietary Debater Gifts

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."

'It won't work, Rodney. I'm low-carb and high-fat...you're low-fat and high carb.'

"We're wolves, Jessica. We eat veal."

Man at restaurant is presented with his roast pig, as the pigs grieving family look on.

'I wouldn't call myself a vegetarian, but I don't eat dead animals either.'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'If it's wrong to eat animals, why are they made of meat?.'

This is beef! We ordered vegetarian! Whats the diff? The cow was a vegetarian.

"Are you still a vegetarian if you only eat herbivores?"

"I warned him not to go vegan."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

Mayo-A-Mayo

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

Adam and Eve - Food scares

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

"Steak for breakfast, steak for lunch, steak for dinner. . . you can't stop evolution!"

'My doctor wants me to watch what I eat, so I'm here for glasses.'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

'The biochemist at work' The biochemist at lunch'.

That's not quite what I meant by a 'balanced diet'..

'The vegetarians are the smug-looking ones...'