Oak Flavor Aficionado T-Shirts

"Hey, Johnny—am I nuts, or does this have a hint of oak?"

Apples for sale

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

Hats and Food

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

Archimedes, Galileo, Copernicus

Men's fragrances...

Newton forgets gravity, discovers delicious apple

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

"Next time make up your mind and just pick one!"

'GM apples prevent Migraine'

"I'm unable to process this image."

The day wasps discovered there's something about an Aqua Velva Man.

'My dentist recommended it.'

Apple section of supermarket - 'Granny Smith's'.

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

"Why have you doubled the price of oatmeal?"

If Sir Issac Newton and William Tell were brothers, gravity would never have been discovered.

"Well, then - two apples a day."

"They say the taste makes up for their lack in artful presentation."

Friends often dropped by and subjected Sir Isaac to a little good-natured ridicule.

An intergalactic oat bran cluster, about to significantly lower Earth's average cholesterol level.

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

Instead of a cap and gown Mike got a hairnet and spatula.