Nutty Philosopher T-Shirts

"Ask yourself 'Am I nuttier now than I was four years ago'?"

Pigeon Little

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

Reverse psychology

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

"My schedule is just nuts."

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

Mixed Nuts

The existentialist manifesto according to Jean-Paul Sinatra-'oooby Dooby Doo!'

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"It Works For Us."

"The gods aren't angry, Tara. They're just hurt and disappointed."

"It's chic to be vulnerable."

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

"No thanks, I'm vegetarian."

I lactate, therefore I am.

"I think we are finally ready to buy a house! What's the market like?"

The end is near.

"My mum always said life is like a tin of cat food. You never know what you're gonna get..."

"After the Great Seagull Reincarnation, we'll spend eternity stealing sandwiches and defecating as we please."

Phrenology - Braille Edition.

Can we see our way clear to doing something about air pollution?