Nutrient Seeker T-Shirts

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

"It's all down to turmeric!"

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'He lives for his holidays.'

Low-Energy Drinks

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Honest Vending

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

Clownfish entertain sea life by hitting each other in the face with octopi.

If you're happy and you know it...

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

"It's just a tree."

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

The search for Bigfoot continues for a group of women who know that if his feet are THAT big...

He likes to make work fun

Too much monkey business...

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Pesky students.

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."