Nursery Story Collector Gifts

'Well if you wanted a garden shed made out of wood or brick, then you should have married one of my brothers!'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

'Frankly, if all the King's men couldn't put him together again, what chance do we have?...'

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

"I have to get up for mine 3 or 4 times a night!"

"Then one day I thought, what the hell?! Maybe it's time I started granting a few of my own wishes."

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

"I realise that it shows a lack of maturity .. But I like baby talk."

Fashion Nursery School

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

'Right - I'm going to sue the water company!'

Mafia Nursery Rhymes - sorry Weazel, I'm gonna have to pop you.

Who's Dead

Clown baby.

'The Search ended today when the authorities traced the runaway pair. . .'

"You know what? I probably could have put Humpty Dumpty back together again but I was just too pissed."

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

Children in a Nursery.

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

'Neat photo Lucy, I'll put it up in my room... Do you have any drawing pins?'

Aladdin's Cave of Wonder

"And this little poet cried ennui, ennui, ennui, all the way home."

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"

"You had a great summer and you're going to have a great fall."

Litigious Bo Peep

"Let's face it, Heather...our moon-jumping days are over."

"I know about the tooth fairy, but I feel a bit young to be selling off my body parts!"

"As I call each of your names, please answer by saying 'Present'"