Nursery Story Collector T-Shirts

'Well if you wanted a garden shed made out of wood or brick, then you should have married one of my brothers!'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'Frankly, if all the King's men couldn't put him together again, what chance do we have?...'

"I have to get up for mine 3 or 4 times a night!"

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

"Then one day I thought, what the hell?! Maybe it's time I started granting a few of my own wishes."

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Mafia Nursery Rhymes - sorry Weazel, I'm gonna have to pop you.

Who's Dead

'Right - I'm going to sue the water company!'

Fashion Nursery School

Clown baby.

'The Search ended today when the authorities traced the runaway pair. . .'

"You know what? I probably could have put Humpty Dumpty back together again but I was just too pissed."

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

Children in a Nursery.

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

'Neat photo Lucy, I'll put it up in my room... Do you have any drawing pins?'

"And this little poet cried ennui, ennui, ennui, all the way home."

Aladdin's Cave of Wonder

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"

"You had a great summer and you're going to have a great fall."

"Let's face it, Heather...our moon-jumping days are over."

'Yes, he did turn into a price, but there were complications.'

"As I call each of your names, please answer by saying 'Present'"

"I know about the tooth fairy, but I feel a bit young to be selling off my body parts!"