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Humpty Dumpty, fallen-down drunk.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Are you made of sugar?'

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

The Hey Diddle Diddle Orchestra

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"Well, that one got away."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

Mother Goose Timeshare